Is there an app for that?

And so the iPhone app avalanche continues. As far as I can tell.

I do not own an iPhone, but I live with someone who does. And I have seen many, many iPhone commercials that showcase that many wonderful iPhone apps. Consider me educated.

I’m not sure whether all of these apps are improving roommate relations though.

When I asked her if she was almost done drying her hair after 45 minutes of trying to study over the drone of the blow dryer, the only reply I got was the humming of a lightsaber from the bathroom. There’s an app for that.

When we asked if she wouldn’t mind loading some of the dishes from the girl’s night bake-a-thon, we did not expect to have a shotgun cocked and fired in our direction. There’s an app for that too.

It gets stranger. There’s even an iPhone woopie cushion, but I can’t really figure out how or why you would want somebody to sit on your iPhone.

Now I’m no scientist. I theorize how cold it is in the morning by experimenting whether or not my tongue will stick to the flagpole. This also determines whether I will have a good day or a bad day. (If you happen to have a cat up a tree, I am friends with many firefighters.)

However, I can theorize that we are approaching an iPhone event horizon, if you will. The point where there is an iPhone app for everything imaginable, and there can be no more iPhone apps invented. This event may bring about the Apocalypse. Just to to be sure I will check the “This Week’s Sign of the Apocalypse” app.

We’ll be getting closer once we get an iPhone app that can cure cancer. The conversation with a doctor will go something like this:

“Well, Mr. Smythe, it’s time for your chemo treatment. Here, hold this.”

“What’s this for?”

“We’ve had too many malpractice suits to afford real radiation machines at the hospital.”

“Is that bad?”

“Very. But I did just download an iPhone app for radiation treatment.”

“Should it be sparking like this?”

“You turned it on already? I wasn’t even out of the room yet!”

*Farting sound*

“Whoops. This must be the woopie cushion app.”

(both laugh)

At any rate, I’m still slaving away at this computer as I write. There’s no iPhone app for WordPress. Yet.

For further reading about the eventual destruction of mankind through iPhone apps, see this blog post.

UPDATE: I have also found that there is an app to let you know if you have the swine flu, and there’s an entire Web site devoted to coming up with catchy, new apps. Still don’t believe me? Go check it out.